turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
