so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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