I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
