I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
