Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
i out mim tonsoeep
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
