Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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