Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
