What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
