I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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