Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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