I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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