At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
He passed out mid-signature
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Randomize
