I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
