I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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