You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
That accounts for only three of the penises
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize