Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
