If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
