Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
