Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
