What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
