I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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