is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a burrito and a hug.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize