i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
