OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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