Michael Bay diarrhea
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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