idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
