I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
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As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
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so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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