If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
