yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
