Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
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