I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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