She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
