I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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