Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
