My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
