Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
These tits shall not be calmed
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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