Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
i think my cat just said my name.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
