Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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