Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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