shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
