i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
