I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
