I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
