I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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