Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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