i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
