You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Vodka?
Forever.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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