There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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