She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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