May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
