i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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