so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
