im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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