So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize