Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
