"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
