the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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