Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
