I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
