I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
