I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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