...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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