exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
