i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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