maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
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