Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
