so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
