I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
